Losing Touch With Your Child By: Danielle Murphy February 21, 2023
Parenting our children never stops, they need our love and guidance in their teen years as much as they did when they were toddlers. They may act tough and try putting a wall up, but it is our job to gently tear that wall down and maintain strands of fellowship. Dear parent, are you actively involved in your child’s life, paying attention to who their friends are and what they enjoy doing in their free time? Does your child see your interest in them? Are you regularly asking questions to find out more about them, not just trying to get information you will use against them later?
It seems as though recently we have found ourselves thrust into the teenage years with our older children. It feels like just yesterday we were busy with small kid activities like planning birthday parties and going to the park. I began to see the longing in my homeschooled children’s eyes for more time with friends and to be part of something a little bigger than just their family. I thank God He has made a way for us to transition into this new chapter rather seamlessly. We recently joined a homeschool co-op where the kids get to attend class with their peers once a week and the business my husband owns has a top floor that’s perfect for rolling skating and having parties and playing games with our friends. A Christian family just moved into our town that we have really hit it off with and it seems like life is just rolling along as expected. Our kids are part of a group of incredible peers, kids that honor their parents, work hard and have good attitudes, but I realize this isn’t everyone’s situation.
I want to encourage you today if you find yourself losing touch with your child, it’s never too late to reach out and try connecting in a sincere way again. Allow me to share the story of my own teenage years. My parents had recently divorced and I moved in with my mom and her boyfriend who was a really great guy. My mom and I had a decent relationship, but it was fading fast. The divorce had left me feeling confused and jaded about life. I struggled to find any hope at all. My mom worked long hours and let me go off with my friends after school that lived in the neighborhood. They seemed like sweet girls, and indeed they were, but being left to our own demise we got into lots of mischief. Soon we were sneaking out to see boys and drink. Looking back I see that my mom was in a hard place herself, dealing with her own emotions from the divorce and trying to make a living. Here in lies the loophole that the enemy used to separate us—life’s circumstances. My mom was busy trying to make a living and maintain a new relationship while also dealing with my older sister who had become pregnant at sixteen and was living on her own. She underestimated how much I needed to have a real, genuine conversation about all of the brokenness going on around us, and so life swept us away in its wild current.
Brokenness often begets more brokenness, but not so with God! With God all things are possible and we don’t have to live in confusion or isolation from one another. As we search His heart we can find the truth and wisdom we need for all of our relationships, as our own soul is nurtured in His presence, enabling us to pour out. Dear parent, reach out to God in your desperation, ask Him for help and guidance and I can guarantee you He will show up mightily on your behalf! Click here to return to the Parenting Column