Parents - Father and Mother By: Danielle Murphy August 21, 2023
Matthew 20:26, Philips “But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the heathen lord it over them and that their great ones have absolute power? But it must not be so among you. No, whoever among you wants to be great must become the servant of you all, and if he wants to be first among you he must be your slave—just as the Son of Man has not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life to set many others free.”
God designed the family unit to have both a mother and father for a reason. It takes both of their input and abilities to raise healthy children. If most of the child rearing falls on either of the parents solely, the child lacks and the parent who is most involved can get burned out, no longer giving their best. It seems almost a common theme amongst our friends right now—a burnt out mother does the family no good. It can be easy for a married couple raising kids, especially those with only the father working, to fall into the roles of distinct father and mother tasks. The father goes to work each day, coming home to a family dinner and then going off to do as he pleases. All the while the mother continues with all of the child rearing duties and maintenance of the home alone. After years of this habit, the mother becomes burned out, having raised a family mostly on her own for years.
Dear friend, this is not how God designed the family to be run. When the father gets home if everyone isn’t planning on having time together as a family, this is an important time for him to be having with his own children. Whether that’s having them tag along as he completes his tasks around the home, or taking them to a ballgame, bathing them, helping with homework, etc. The father must be present in their children’s lives if the children are to become well balanced individuals. The burden of raising the children ought to fall on both the mother and father alike. Mundane day-to-day tasks such as bathing the children and laying them down at night ought to be equally shared. How else will a father find the time to teach his children in the way when they are “sitting at home and when walking along the road, when they lie down and when they get up,” as Deuteronomy 6:7 teaches us parents to do?
When the weight of parenting is shared amongst the spouse, each spouse is able to continue and feel refreshed and more equipped at doing a better job of ministering to their children. It is a way for a husband to show his care for his wife and vice versa, for them to feel united in purpose and the goal of raising Godly children together. This sharing of parenting duties can work wonders on a marriage, after all, a marriage spent serving one another is a marriage that thrives. It is good for each parent to feel honored and thought of in regard to sharing the duties of child rearing. I pray this has inspired you to reexamine your family dynamics and to make adjustments if you need to in order to equal out the workload and share in the raising of your children with your spouse. Click here to return to the Parenting Column