The Yelling Mommy By: Danielle Murphy April 21, 2022
Some of us yell, some of us throw things in our fits of rage, however your anger manifests itself, and it is not pretty and always ends in feelings of guilt and shame. You try to get a handle on it, but just as you do, something happens to throw your hormones out of whack! It can feel like a miserable, vicious cycle. Dear mother, you are not alone in your struggle. You can overcome it though through the power of Christ!
Sometimes we get angry because of stress and outside pressures, or it may just be all of the chaos and mess that comes with raising kids. Other times it can be irrational and make no sense at all. As we seek and spend time with the Lord on this issue, He will be able to show us the trigger of our anger. After we are able to locate the source of our anger, we can then implement ways of overcoming. For instance, if you tend to raise your voice when you get angry, practice lowering it instead at moments of frustration. This truly helps and over time, becomes a better habit then just yelling. If you are a thrower, practice keeping your hands at your side. It is wonderful to see how our Lord meets us in our greatest hours of need so seek Him above all for wisdom and strategies on how to overcome! For some of us it may mean just a slight change in our schedule that takes the edge off, or deliberate training in an area of one of our kids, or taking enough time out to do the things we love so that we can be refreshed.
We must realize that our fits of rage can do great harm if left unchecked. I once heard of a mother who, after laying her child down, was so angry she picked up the closest thing and chucked it across the room. It ended up hitting her child and struck him life less. What a terrible consequence for a careless fit of rage. Yet, we ourselves are not far from doing the same if we continue to allow our flesh to reign in these mortal bodies. I want to encourage you today, if your anger has ever frightened you, to get help. You may just share it with your husband or a close friend, but by all means, get it out in the light where you can receive help and encouragement! It can be embarrassing to confess to someone that we are struggling, but what would be more embarrassing is if our anger led us to a place where we ended up doing harm. We have a wonderful promise given to us in scripture,
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9, KJV)
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (James 5:16, KJV)
So often it seems that in a circle of believers who are all striving to be like Christ, we share our good points just as we ought to do so that we can encourage one another. But I want to encourage you to also share your weaknesses with one another. It is a lie from the devil to think that no one else is struggling also, the enemy wants us to feel isolated and alone in our short comings. But oh what victory and encouragement is ours when we humble ourselves and confess our shortcomings to one another! It is such a vulnerable place to be in but oh so liberating!
Many of us mothers have our children take a time out, but we would be wise to take one ourselves sometimes! The next time you feel the tension rise, take a break. Allow the mess to happen instead of flipping out. Remember that these little ones are on loan from God, they actually belong to Him and are simply in our care. Would we be proud of our anger if He were there in our midst? The truth is, He is always in our midst and someday we will give an account for every word we have spoken (Matthew 12:36). Let us strive to stand in His presence unashamed of how we have spoken to others, especially our children which He has so graciously given us. Click here to return to the Parenting Column