We know that the relationship between a husband and wife should be like the relationship between Christ and church. If we should spend time with Jesus, shouldn’t we also spend time with our spouse? I mean quality time. A thoughtful and intentional time – a table for two.
My husband and I both have children from previous marriages and society calls us a blended family. What does that mean? It means we did not have our honeymoon months or years to adjust into our marriage relationship. We began as a family of five, two parents and three children. We learnt that things that our spouse likes and dislikes, how to consider each other’s needs, and how to handle the normal household responsibilities all while caring for our kids. Instead of watching romantic movies for couples we watched movies with our kids. Our vacations were to places where families could go. When we would occasionally have a dinner out, it was for a table for five… because of our families structure we gained a very good appreciation for the importance of quality time for husband and wife.
I remember my husband made a promise before we got married that every week, we would have a date night where we could go out, just the two of us. Now eight years have passed, and the fact is that it has been impossible to keep that commitment. Are we upset about it? We know that we are blessed, and we do not view it as a consequence of our mistakes, but a blessing and new chapter of our lives. So, I am not here to complain but to talk about and understand of the importance of quality time in marriage through an eight years’ we have lived in a blended family.
Through challenges and responsibilities, we make effort to experience our quality time. We continue to remind ourselves to be aware of our roles not only as parents, but as husband and wife. The reality is that when we first met, we called each other bae or honey and now it is more often daddy and mommy. Sometimes we fall asleep without a good night kiss after a day of exhaustion. While we spend lots of time caring for our kids, our family needs, and work… we do the dishes together, we do food shopping together, we assist each other’ work, and we serve Jesus together. We not only hope to have time together, but we also plan it. We discipline ourselves to put down our phone when we have our “table for two” times and focus on each other. We never lack in saying I love you, and always remind our children about our love as husband and wife.
My dear friends, just saying hi and bye is not a relationship between a husband and wife. When two people become one it requires much more, and it includes good quality time to share each other’s thoughts and heart. It requires time to carry each other’s burdens and understand each other’s weaknesses. Jesus told us that it is right to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who are rejoice, so how much more should we be there for and do it with our spouse!
The world does not stop seeking to draw your attention, or make you feel something is more important than your marriage. I want you to remember that the relationship between a husband and wife should reflect the relationship between Christ and His Church – that is the real foundation on which we can build our lives! Click here to return to the Marriage Column