Our Special Daughter By: Danielle Murphy October 21, 2021
Psalm 45:10a, KJV “Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear…”
A daughter requires special care and attention. There are potential snares they face which boys do not, and Scripture gives us clear instructions on how to avoid such snares.
One of the main issues our young ladies deal with is their appearance. All societies tend to draw from our vulnerable, unsuspecting youth. They attempt to lure them with promises of lasting beauty, and then entice them to use their beauty as a power to seduce men and get what they want. These ought not to be the temptations of our well-trained Godly young ladies that we are raising up! They are looking to us for guidance and direction here, and it is certainly our responsibility to show them Gods heart in all of this. Stay alert, dear mother, do not allow neglect or carelessness to rob your daughter of what is rightfully hers through Christ! It is a sober responsibility to raise our children. Far be it from us to hold back God’s glorious truth from them!
So, what does the bible teach us in regards to beauty? Lots of wonderful things! Let’s start in the book of 1 Timothy:
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10, KJV)
This scripture is so beautiful, so tender. It teaches us that a woman who professes godliness ought to adorn, or cover, herself in good works. Rather than being obsessed with the latest fad, we should be about our Father’s business of blessing and serving those around us. What a distraction the outward things of this world can become to us if we are not careful! Do we believe this ourselves, ladies? Do we believe that God’s word is truth and we can find true life therein? What about the world—do they consider good works beautiful? Let’s take a look at mother Theresa. In all honesty she was never much to look upon according to this world, yet she is loved and known by so many—for what? her selfless love and Christ like heart. She exuded a beauty that only comes from deep within. A beauty so rare and exceptional that few possess it. This is what we ought to teach our daughters to exemplify! Why? Because beauty is deceitful, fleeting, and it fades.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, NIV)
We do not want to be deceitful women, yet if we pursue vanity, it is bound to be our end. We must teach our girls about Jezebel, Delilah, and the many other examples in our very own time of women that use their looks to manipulate. We must encourage their hearts to be pure before God in this regard, and to admire those things which He teaches us are truly admirable and lasting.
So, what are some practical ways to apply these truths in a world so contrary to these beliefs? First and foremost, we must believe it and live it out ourselves! Then, and only then, will we able to teach it. We also need to be very careful not to bring feelings of condemnation or disapproval towards women that walk contrary to God’s word.
For example, my daughters will often stare and admire a woman that they see. Those women are usually scantily clad and seductive. They are in awe of her beauty, and rightfully so! I have felt a caution from the Holy Spirit however, not to express the repulsion and judgment that so quickly seems to enter my heart. I find myself upset and jealous that they find her beautiful. Partly because of the weakness in my own heart. I have a husband and I know that the temptation of a woman can be truly alluring. So to know that my own girls are captivated by her can be offensive.
This is not how we should view it though! Not as a threat to be reckoned with, but rather a wonderful teaching opportunity, for them and for us! It is not my desire to burst my daughters bubble and tell them to go wrap themselves up in a brown paper bag.
So, when they remark how beautiful a woman may be—I acknowledge her beauty along with them and then gently teach them that a woman’s greatest beauty comes from within. I teach them that beauty fades, and how many woman in the world strive to hold onto their youth as it inevitably slips through their fingers. How worldly women allow themselves to be consumed by their looks, and how oftentimes they never feel satisfied or that they are good enough. They are trapped into always measuring themselves against the beauty of others, instead of being content with the bodies and features God has given them.
I tell them about seduction and men, and how their hearts and eyes are drawn towards beauty just as our own are. I teach them that someday they may be married, and their hearts will sink as a woman walks into a room attempting to steal the eyes of all men. I teach them that we do not ever want to be that woman, the one that draws the attention of men to her, and that our beauty should be pure and sincere instead. I am also deliberate at pointing out beautiful women who are dressed modestly and how pleasing that is to God.
I am also careful to teach them to always be sure to have love and remorse in their hearts towards women who dress in a way that is not modest, ever ready to share with them God’s love. I think that can be one of our greatest traps as Christian women— to allow ourselves to feel threatened and offended at women like that—as if God’s love was never intended to pursue them.
We must know that a woman who does that is not only ignorant of God’s ways, but also lacking so much love that she feels this is what she must do in order to receive any love at all—no matter how short lived it may be. How powerful it would be if women pursued women in this regard! It will take strong woman who have been saturated and steeped in the presence and word of God to unlock such prisoners—but oh how I pray that it may be my very own daughters someday, going into that dark pit of hell to bring God’s glorious light!
But how can they go if they are ensnared in the world’s ways? Or worse, if they are ensnared in judging these girls because of their own jealousy and envy? Lord help us to raise up mighty warriors for you! Lord give us the wisdom and desire to teach them by example, daily!! Click here to return to the Parenting Column