You Can't Give What You Don't Have By: Dorcas Weaver March 21, 2023
Do you KNOW who YOU are? Do you have a tendency to let others opinions define you? Do you wonder if you are loved, or even lovable? Do you think of yourself as being all alone?
We are all flawed. We have all been hurt. But these things do not define us! In order to parent well, we need to see ourselves from God's perspective. He is a good good Father, whom we can always run to when we need assurance, or protection, or someone to lean on. No matter how old we are, we are still His little children!
Often parents were wounded themselves as children, and tend to function out of those broken places; and just as often in parenting, those wounds get stepped on by our children. When parents react out of pain, they also end up wounding their children, and in turn both parent and child look for love and approval from other people.
We were created to be loved, so we are on an endless search for love, until we find true love. In that journey, time and again we give others the opportunity to tell us whether or not we are worth loving. And again and again we go away feeling more hurt or abandoned than before we started.
We need to look for love from our Father, our Heavenly Father, rather than from other people, in order to love our children as He loves us. As parents, we must find healing for our own hearts, before we can love unconditionally.
We know that we cannot live out of our feelings, but too many times we live out of our pain without realizing it. Don't be afraid to stop and take a good look at what you feel. Go to God with those feelings and be honest about the pain you feel. Often we don't know what to do when we feel the pain, so we stuff it down inside again.
Instead of ignoring it, or toughing up, come to Jesus with the pain. Tell Him how you feel, and recognize that He died to take away not only your sin, but also your pain! It's as simple as picturing yourself walking to the foot of the cross time and again, and setting down the whole load; the pain, old beliefs, the lies, the parenting struggles. You can hand it over to Him and release it completely. When you truly let it go and leave it there at the foot of the cross, He will take care of it for you. Ask for His healing and wholeness.
Believe that you are not alone, because He will never leave you nor forsake you! Believe that you are beautifully created in His image! Believe that you are loved unconditionally!
When you receive His love and grace you also can hand it on to your children. We must receive it in order to give it away. You can't give what you don't have.
Tell your children they are beautiful. Tell them they are loved. Tell them they are loved unconditionally and that they are worth loving.